Ok… go on. Get it out
of your head… All the single ladies, all
the single ladies…
Why, yes. I am a
single lady. And, I am about to embark
on the NFP journey. I am not about to
get married. I’m not engaged. Heck!
I don’t even have a boyfriend.
… so, why begin this journey? Well, let’s begin here:
I have always - I am talking about always - struggled with acne.
I didn’t have it as bad as some, but I still had it. For years.
And it was rough. I tried
everything. Creams, ointments, different
face washes, antibiotics, and even the dreaded Acutane (which was
HORRIBLE. I will never, ever condone it
for anyone).
When I was in high school, my dermatologist recommended that
I take a birth control pill along with the Acutane (b/c if you have sex and get
pregnant that crazy stuff can cause major birth defects). I, having committed myself to the
no-sex-before-marriage covenant, was not
going to take BC. Are you kidding? Nope, no way.
That is cray.
Fast-forward to college, where I was still dealing with acne
and the pains of lower self-confidence, not feeling pretty, etc. and wanted to
have clear skin. I finally gave in and
went to the gyno to get a script for BC.
I justified it as OK b/c I was not sexually active, my periods were
pretty heavy (bleeding through super tampons multiple times a day, kind of
heavy), so it would be fine, and even healthier for me. My mom and I are pretty open; we did talk
about my periods and what not, and I asked my gyno about options, and she said
that once I started the BC, I would feel better. I didn’t really think to ask about any other
options, really… I just wanted my face to look nice.
And you know what? My
skin cleared up! My periods were super
manageable! I wasn’t as emotional (I mean… that might be
relative depending on who you are talking to!).
This whole BC thing was awesome!
I had a few moments of thinking it was weird or not ok, when I had my
reversion back to my faith. I always
explained it as a medicine for my acne, only if someone asked. I wasn’t openly telling people I was on the
pill. I didn’t want to cause scandal. People will skew anything, you know.
Ok, so… fast-forward to today: I am still on the pill. My skin is still great, periods still great
(as great as they can be). In the last
year, I have had this pull to stop taking the pill, but always come up with a
reason to keep taking them. (You would
think that the long-term side effects would make me stop) I did stop after graduating college, into my
first job, and that might have been the worst experience. My face was horrible. I felt like I was on an emotional roller
coaster, more than usual. Ugh. I am afraid to go through that again.
But, I have to think.
Maybe God is trying to get me to know my body better. I know a lot about the woman’s reproductive
system, but I don’t know a lot about my
reproductive system. I don’t remember if
my periods are even regular. I don’t
know if there are foods or drinks or activities that affect my
menstruation. I have no idea. I have never really thought about it. Maybe
God wants me to be better in tune with, more proud of and more empowered by my
body, to know my body so well, that I will be able to really take charge
and make the choices that are best for me.
No one can know that better than me.
No one. Ok, yes… our Creator can. You got me.
So, yes… I say that I am about to embark on the NFP journey,
but really I am about to embark on a self-discovery journey all about my
health. (Too corny?) I am going to begin
learning and charting and, hopefully, really
loving my body! God designed women so
uniquely, and we should be proud to learn more about it. Eventually, how will I be able to give myself
completely to someone in marriage, without knowing all I can know about
me? How can I be open to that if I am
not open about what’s going on inside of me?
Right now… it’s all about me. And the way I was created by our Lord.
Hi! I finally got the stinkin' thing to let me comment! Sheesh. Anyway ... I'm really proud of you. I know you really struggled with taking BC in college especially knowing the other uses for it. I hope your body adjusts well and that you find a method that works for you!
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