I am writing for me.

Why do I blog?  What is the point?  Is it for me?  Is it for others?  Why the heck do I keep writing these posts?

These questions have been rolling around in my head recently and is partly why I decided to take a break during the holidays.  The other part: I was spending too much time in front of my computer versus spending that time in prayer, doing spiritual reading or any other form of grace-filled-spiritual-goodness.  Not only am I writing posts, I am reading a ton of blogs annnnnd my thoughts throughout the day are constantly focused on how I could make this and that into a cool blog post.

Seriously?  How has it come to that?

Having all of my close friends move away, me going to Honduras and then returning, but not really having a "home" somewhere, I have had a thirst for some good Catholic community for quite some time.  Upon discovering all of these amazing Catholic women bloggers, my thirst is starting to be satiated.  It truly has been a gift for me.  I have been doing a lot of traveling, so it's hard to be part of any sort of church community.  By having all of these blogger friends, my community was with me where ever I happened to be.  It truly has been amazing.  To read about everyone's lives, the good, along with the struggles; the funny, along with the sad.  To pray for these women when they have special intentions, and know that they are praying for me.

It's totally awesome.

And then I read this post by Elizabeth at Dixie Grit.  All of these questions, then, seemed to be really important for me to figure out.  She is pretty blunt in this post, but has some really great points.  I am a little envious that she put it all out there, honestly.  Some of the things that she mentions are things that Mart and I have discussed (particularly WIWS).  So, thank you Elizabeth for writing this and being so honest.  And, thank you for making me stop in my tracks to think about the point of my blogging.

Oh, during my blog hiatus, did I become closer to God because of all the time I took to spend with Him and go to Mass and read a little more?  Um... well... no.  I still kept up to date with everyone else's blogs and couldn't shake the feeling that everything I was doing/experiencing/thinking would end up being a great post.  WHHYYYYYYY???

To be honest... b/c I want people to read my blog.  After my initial post for 7 Quick Takes and WIWS, people were practically led to my blog.  It was so cool and uplifting, really.  I then wanted to write about cool things and have people be impressed with me and interested in my (not-so-exciting) life.  I wanted people to keep coming back.  I wanted to think about something awesome that would blow everyone's socks off.

But, that's not why I started.  And, I am not really sure that's why I keep writing.  When I went to Honduras, I started blogging to keep all of my family and friends up to date because I couldn't talk to them all of the time.  It was fun for me!  I am so glad I did it.  Even looking back now, there are quite a few things that I have already forgotten, but I took the time to write about them back then, and they are just waiting to be rediscovered.  When I got back to the states, my life kind of became a little less exciting, but I still missed writing all about it.  I missed reflecting on things.  I missed, for all intents and purposes, journaling about my life.

So, I started up again.  As a way to continue to keep my family and friends in the loop.  It's easier now that we can talk on the phone and what not, but I realized it was still good for me, too.  I was an avid journaler at one point in my life, and I know that I need to continue to reflect on things and keep a record of the things that are important in my life (because if you know me at all... I really don't have the greatest memory).

I am writing for me.  I am writing to reflect on what's happening in my life, about my faith and in my world.  I am not going to worry about writing the next best post or that everyone should read my blog.  If someone does, awesome.  If they are inspired, encouraged or have a good laugh, even better. If no one reads this again, that's awesome, too.  I am not going to care anymore.  I am not going to look at those annoying stats.  I am not going to tweet my posts anymore (ever.  It really bugs me when someone tweets and retweets and retweets their posts. People will read your post whether you tweet it or not).  I want to enjoy my blogging without any added pressure.

With this new mentality (which will be a work in process) maybe I can then make more time to pray and do all those things that will help with the sanctification of my soul.  Ya know... important things. :)

Until next time!
Amor,
Jen

And don't you worry... I will continue to read all of my fave bloggy friends.  You all have been amazing, and I don't even really know any of you.  Prayers for all of you, as always. :)

1 comment :

  1. I totally hear you on the thirst for community. I had a really great group of girlfriends in college. Now my free time is spent with my husband's pals. All good people, all . . . dudes. And I feel like I move too often and/or work too many weekends to really get involved with one parish.

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