Have you seen the tv show Smash?
(It's basically a show about putting on a hit Broadway show, which happens to be about Marilyn Monroe. It's pretty good, although I liked the first season better... lots of singing, dancing and drama.)
Oh... and lots of sex.
Surprisingly it's not all from the Marilyn Monroe theme.
Just your run-of-the-mill sex-infused-drama with practically every character.
(Why am I watching this, again?)
Anyway... one of the main characters is a married couple, where the wife had an affair years ago that crept back into current life (things like that do tend to be a poison within marriage if not taken care of) where she finally had to come clean. Not without doing it all over again, with the same guy, mind you. Obviously the husband was devastated.
BUT... they seemed to be working it out. Seeing a counselor, taking time apart, the wife really saw the wrong she did and was truly sorry.
Then... the husband had an affair, too. She confronted him, in private, but he.went. BALLISTIC (for the dramatic flair of course it was at a fancy schmancy party in front of important people in the bizz).
He got caught. He was still angry about her affair. He was drinking. He didn't want to to hear anything else his wife had to say.
And that was it. The marriage is over.
(At least for now... who knows what the future holds in tv)
And you know what all this made me feel?
Towards the husband.
It's not ok for your wife to have an affair, but she should be ok if you have an affair?
Yes, I realize he was not over the hurt and betrayal... but, he didn't respect his marriage either.
And it made me sad.
Yet again, marriage is deemed something that can be easily thrown away.
It's frustrating. Why can't there be MORE talk about the crap that people go through in their marriages and them actually staying married?
I know I am not married, and I have no idea how I would react if I was in that situation, God-forbid, but I do hold marriage to a high standard. It's not just a piece of paper in which you can throw away when you don't want to deal with it anymore.
It's so much more than that.
It's a sacrament. God is in it with you.
It's hard work. It's a vocation.
And it's beautiful.
So all this had me thinking (even more...), why DON'T we talk about the crap more often? I don't mean, "let's thrown everyone's dirty laundry out" and what not. But, why don't we hear more about the dirty, messy, rough points of marriage... and how, through patience, perseverance, respect for marriage and God's grace, couple's got through it?
I find it to be inspiring.
I know someone personally (and I didn't ask if I could write about it, so I won't be specific) that went through the wringer. Her marriage was on the fringe, but they made it through. They are doing wonderfully today! She will, hands down, give all the credit to Jesus and His grace, strength and mercy. She and her hubby should seriously give talks. People would listen to them!
As someone who feels marriage is her calling, I want to know these things.
I want to know that when things get rough, there are other people willing to talk about it.
I don't want to feel alone in my battle.
I want to know that others fight for their marriage, like I will always fight for mine.
"At a time when 50 percent of marriages in many places end in divorce, every marriage that lasts is a great sign- ultimately a sign for God. On this earth, where so much is relative, people ought to believe in God, who alone is absolute. That is why everything that is not relative is so important: someone who speaks the truth absolutely or is absolutely loyal. Absolute fidelity in marriage is not so much a human achievement as it is a testimony to the faithfulness of God, who is there even when we betray or forget him in so many ways. To be married in the Church means to rely more on God's help than on one's own resources of love." ~YouCat, #263, page 151