NAS: Settling

No one would encourage you to "settle" in your relationships, but would you ever consider it?

What are your thoughts on settling in relationships in general?

Hmm... well, I am not sure I have too many thoughts on this weeks topic.  I feel like I grew up hearing things like, "Don't ever settle, you are worth it!" But, then... also hearing that maybe I should lower my expectations.

Humpf.  I mean, we can't have both of those things.  These days in our Catholic/Christian circles, it's super common to hear that we are worth it.  We are worth waiting for.  We are worth the fight.  Even though this is something I struggle with believing and accepting, I know in my head it's true.

We totally are.  God created us and loves us so very, very much... so, of course we are worth what some people would deem "high expectations."  We are worth being loved and pursued by a gentleman. We are worth being loved by a godly man.  We are worth being loved by someone who accepts us for who we are, the quirky things and all.  We are worth it.

So, if we are so worth it, should we just settle?  Should we lower our expectations JUST so we can get married and have a family?  I suppose it depends on what your goal (and God's will) is... if you just want to jump right to the having babies thing, then maybe finding the guy who isn't all those things you deserve is how you will just make the motherhood thing happen.

I don't think I could do it.  Just get married for the sake of being married JUST because God is calling me to do it.  Just as the marriage thing is a call, the marriage thing WITH a particular person is just as big of a call and part of God's plan.  I would be afraid that I would always be wondering what could have been if I just waited a bit longer or was a bit more patient with God.  I don't know.

I am just typing as I think.  Not sure where I was going with this.  But, what do you guys think?  Would you be cool with settling?  Do you think it has anything to do with expectations or our worth?? I can't wait to see what y'all have to say about this! :)

Link up below and see you next week!

If you would like to have an accountability partner, and haven't emailed us, please do so today!!  We will be sending out an email very soon to let you know who your partner is! :)
Next Week:
Fave single-person websites/blogs
Share your favorite single person websites or blogs!
Include post/articles that pertain to the single life, if you want, too!

November 12:
Vulnerability with friends
Do you find that your non-single friends struggle with relating to you or vice versa? If so, in what ways? How do you handle it? What is something that you would like them to know or understand that they just don't seem to get?

November 19:
Surviving events/parties as a singleton
The holidays are coming up! Family parties, friend gatherings... and you're single. How do you "cope"? Any tips or tricks?

Ladies, we have decided to take a break from the Not Alone Series until January 14, 2014.  I know it seems like a long time, but we are coming up on a busy season of travel and family time.  We don't want to take away your time from what's most important.  Feel free to continue to blog about your single life experiences, but we just won't be having anything formal until January. 


  1. Great post! I don't mind the ramblyness. My style too. :) Anyway, I think you bring up great points about worth and expectations. I've sometimes wondered if it's possible to have *too* much self-worth (so that no guy seems good for you) or if expectations are too high. I mean, my basic criteria (practicing Catholic who will follow the "rules") *does* seem high for a lot of today's men. BUT I don't think I'm expecting Henry Cavill's long-lost twin with the voice of a Mumfod and would feel like I'm "settling" if I married a wonderful man without those qualities.

  2. Ahh. There was a great article touching on this subject. I wish I could remember where I had read it. I don't think you should ever marry someone you don't truly love (and absolutely not someone who is abusive, etc), but sometimes I think my Catholic girlfriends should expand their horizons and at least date a little bit outside your comfort zone. Who knows what God may lead you to? (Disclaimer: my husband isn't Christian)

    You're absolutely right: God is calling you (I'm speaking in general terms here) to marry a particular person, but maybe he wants you with someone you're not expecting. So many saintly women (St.s Monica, Cecilia, et al) married non-Catholics! I know God never gives us more than we can handle. Just like He gives special needs children to special parents, I'm sure He gives special needs spouses to special people.

    And as to waiting for what we deserve, we get what we deserve in heaven. Our vocation on earth is a different story. More than anyone else, Jesus deserved all good things for Being Perfect, and look what God handed Him!

    Sorry this is long. Just some on my thoughts on this.

  3. Great blog entry with wonderful thoughts to ponder. I agree with the above comments. We shouldn't settle just to settle, but it's helpful to be open to how God may use others who may be diffrent or similar to our lifestyle or faith journey. :)

  4. Love it!!! We are worth it, we are worth whatever God has in mind for us.

    "Just as the marriage thing is a call, the marriage thing WITH a particular person is just as big of a call and part of God's plan" - I love this!!!

  5. Great post. Someone once told me that we are not called to marriage, but to a person (if that is your vocation of course!) I thought that was an interesting notion.


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