Oh, it's Advent?!


...right?

Ugh, it doesn't feel like it to me.

It hurts my heart to even say that!

Since I got home from visiting my mom in MN for Thanksgiving I have been GO GO GO. I had the young adult Christmas party I coordinated this past weekend, which I thought I was going to kill me. I have had something to do almost every evening. I have a wedding this weekend. Work has been crazy.

I haven't blogged. I haven't called people back. I haven't emailed people back. I have barely touched my Christmas shipping. Which, for the first time ever, stresses me out more than I can describe. My house is a MESS. Mess. Laundry is piling up.

Everything is catching up. My nose won't stop running. I've got those aches. And all I want to do is sleep.

And, thank the Lord, today I did some of that. I called in sick. Slept until 10. Ate a leisurely breakfast. Plopped on the couch and didn't move for a while. Until I thought of all of the things above and started to panic. Martha talked me down from that ledge, popped some laundry in and cleaned the bathroom (it was horrible, you guys. I shudder just thinking about it. Blah). I sent some emails. Did some more laundry. Still need to think about Christmas gifts.

I feel better. I mean, my stress is less... I still don't feel 100%, but it's ok. At least I can see a little bit clearer.

I have also made the decision to stop worrying about a decoration a day for Advent. *crying face emoji* I absolutely LOVED doing this last year, but this year it's not enjoyable. It just makes me feel even worse about how UNprepared I am, every day that goes by and no new decoration is up. I feel as though I am failing this Advent season. I need to take a step back, regroup, look at what I wanted to accomplish and figure out what is actually going to work.

I know that God is preparing my heart for His arrival EVEN amongst the crazy that life feels right now. I know that He is with me at every, sometimes incredibly frustrating, moment. Even when I make mistakes. Even when I may have hurt people. I find comfort and joy knowing that our Lord is taking care of me- when I am going crazy.

I hope your Advent is going well, everyone! Please let me know... maybe your fruitfulness will encourage and inspire me some more. :)


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5 comments :

  1. Jen Fulwiler says that Lent doesn't really start until you're halfway through and the novelty wears off. In this case, your Advent didn't really start until halfway through! Do more than nothing and rest in the peace that God would have given you more time (or less to do) if he wanted to.

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  2. I have totally felt that way this week! The "do ALL the things!" meme seems to be following me around :-p
    I'm glad you've removed the expectation of the ornaments. Sometimes it's the really good things that turn into the big hairy monsters of disappointment; good job taking that out of Advent!

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  3. Hi Jen! Rest is okay and very necessary :-) The emails can wait - people know it's a busy time of year. Do what you can and don't sweat the rest. I don't have my Christmas tree up, haven't written a single card and need to finish shopping - I can relate to your stress! Hope the rest of your week goes well! Praying for ya.

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  4. We've all been there at one point or another! It will get better! And I think removing the expectation of the decoration a day will help you. I've felt horrible for not doing anything specific (except the St. Andrew Novena) this Advent. I always want to do daily readings from some awesome books, buuuut forget to do that a lot. Lame. I've been very busy with end-of-semester shenanigans, and chose many times to spend time with people instead of cleaning my room. Ha! I don't know about you, but having a messy room makes me more stressed. So it's definitely helpful to take time to clean it up :-) It doesn't feel much like Christmas yet to me, but that's happened over time as I've gotten older too. When I go home, I will probably feel more festive. Here's to a beautiful Christmas, whether we're feeling it or not!

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  5. Letting go. I'm learning a lot of that this Advent and the main thing I've learnt is it's a good thing and sometimes beyond necessary. Do not let yourself get crazy and overwhelmed with things that can wait. Prepared not pooped became my motto this past weekend because I decided it makes no sense to get everything checked on my to do list but I get to Christmas exhausted, crabby and totally unprepared to welcome Jesus.
    My sister asked me yesterday when we were going to put up the lights, yeah so the decorations can wait if that is what is needed you'll probably still get them up before me.
    Praying for you.

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