Not Alone Series: Encouraging Men






We seem to always have something to say about guys treating us right! ...or, not right! But, what does that mean? Have you ever thought to share those insights so guys have a better idea on what to say/how to act? Well, let's do it! What are some good habits guys can take up when dealing with us ladies?






When I suggested this topic, it was directly related to this image that Lindsay posted in our FB group:

YES!
#bringdatingback
I thought, "YES! This is practical advise that I love!!" And thus, here we are hopefully to give some more practical advise from a lady's perspective. I feel like I have to add this caveat- I know that not all women will agree with these things, perhaps some will think I am uber traditional or old-fashioned. Who cares! The men that I will be interested in will do these things. Confident, grounded, loving gentlemen who desire marriage are the men that I am attracted to, and that most of you ladies who read and/or participate in NAS are attracted, too, as well.

With that out of the way, and in no particular order, here is what I encourage guys to do:
  • Be kind, gracious and loving... to everyone! Not just to the lady you are interested in.
  • Pursue her- if you are interested, let her know by getting to know her. Call her, ask her out on a date, spend time with her, fight for her.
  • Yes, CALL her- when you exchange numbers, the ball is in your court. Don't be daft and text. If she is worth getting to know, she is worth a phone call.
  • Wanna spend some quality time with her, then ask her on a DATE (preferably one that you have planned!), as the image above clearly articulates. "Hanging out" is noncommittal and may show that you didn't put much thought into wanting to spend time with her. Be intentional and clear.
  • Be confident in who you are- talk about your passions, your love of the faith, your family! We want to get to know you, too. :) Be authentically yourself, who God created you to be, not who you think we want you to be!
  • Chivalry is NOT dead!! Hold doors, pull out chairs, let a lady go ahead of you in line, open the car door, etc. for the lady you are interested, yes, but for women in general. You would do these things for the Blessed Mother, right? :)
  • Be careful with physical touch- we all have our thoughts on if/when to kiss, cuddle, make out, etc, but even the hand holding, extended hugs, arm touches, putting a wisp of hair behind your ear, etc. can give off the wrong impression. These things mean something. A hug means you care, and if lasted for a few seconds too long, it could mean more than just a hug good night. It becomes more intimate, and therefore you are potentially giving more of yourself away. Be aware of how you touch the lady you are interested in. There is a lot that can be said for this, but here is a rule that I just made up: the more committed the relationship, the more physical touch! (Friends = limited touch like occasional hugs allll the way to marriage = sex. Does that even make senes?!)
Those are my suggestions, guys!

And, ladies! Be kind and gracious to these guys who are trying their best. As both Natalie and Katie have already stated beautifully, don't knock 'em down when they are putting themselves out there! Give them a chance to do these things and build their confidence to be the best men they can be! :)

Head on over to Morgan's to get your link-up on!!


NEXT WEEK!
Challenge!
It's that time again! In the past we've challenged ourselves to grow and/or take steps toward moving closer to our vocation. These challenges have come in all different forms! Being active with online dating, getting more involved in young adult ministry/parish life, and working on bettering my prayer life have been personal challenges. What is one thing you want to challenge yourself to do that might help you along your path toward's God's will... or maybe just help you become more open to God's will?
Share what your plan is and why, then in 2 weeks we'll write on how this challenge went!!

March 24
Lent
We're more than half way through Lent... how's it going?! What did you decide to give up/take up? Did you make any spiritual goals? How have you grown thus far and how do you hope to make the most of the remainder of the season?

March 31
Expectations vs Reality... of the Single Life
Have you ever had people in your life who have expectations of what your life is like, as a single person? Do friends or family ever make assumptions about your life simply because you're unmarried? Did you ever had expectations about being single which turned out to be different than the reality? How do you manage the expectations of others with the reality of your day-to-day?

April 7
Challenge Check-in!
A couple weeks ago, we set to challenge ourselves! What did you decide on and what did you end up doing? Was this a fruitful experience for you? Why or why not?

April 14
Christian Friendship
What does it mean to be a friend based in Christ? Do Christian friends hold each other higher? Do we hold each other accountable? How do these friendships differ from non-Christian based friendships? Do they differ? Is one better than the other?


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3 comments :

  1. Oh, such great suggestions!!! Thanks for sharing :)

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  2. Perfect. I like what you said about physical touch. And thanks for the shout out!

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  3. I am so behind that I didn't even see this shout-out until today. Thank you!

    I love that you point out that men should be kind and chivalrous (a.k.a. polite) to everyone. That's so important. If he treats you like a queen but mistreats everyone else in his life and in the world, you're the one he's lying to.

    What do you think about being asked out on a date (that is called a date) by a man you don't know very well? Some women would say that's too scary and forward, which makes men hesitant to make the approach.

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