I am enough.

Oh, ya know... it happened. Again.

I was emailing with a guy for a while, which turned into phone calls and a video chat.

And then... nothing. No call. No text. No email. Nothing.

Which was surprising, particularly because this guy was very purposeful, very confident in who he is and what he is looking for. For him to leave things hanging... I mean, come ON! If you aren't interested (which was very obvious due to the aforementioned lack of contact), then just say so. Get to the point so we both can end things and move on.

But, no.

Instead, I emailed and let him know that it was clear things weren't going any farther.

He wrote back a very nonchalant email with no regards or apology for leaving me hanging.

And it stung.

This post is not about what he should or shouldn't have done -- although for the record, guys, MAN UP and tell the girl you aren't interested. It's fair and respectful to do so. And appreciated, really-- no. This post is more about the feelings and emotions this has stirred up in me.

This has happened to me many times before. It's never fun, but some of the times were easier than others. This time... it has affected me way more. Perhaps because it's happened so many times, it finally hit me. Perhaps because I was disappointed in his response, given previous behavior which led me to believe he was a stand up guy. Perhaps because I was reminded again that I don't have a guy who is willing to fight for me.

And we all want that guy.

The doubt began to creep in. So many things rolling around in my head. I will never have that. Of course no one wants to fight for me. I'm too emotional. I am not outgoing enough. I am not Catholic enough, or I'm too Catholic. I'm not fit enough. 

It's just so silly, isn't it? Thankfully these days are far less than they used to be. But, they still happen. These are lies. Satan sneaks his way into something that he knows can have an affect on me, and BOOM!

But the truth is...



All of me.

Every fiber of my being. Every feeling. Every scar. Every belly laugh. Every freckle. Every pimple. Every worry. Every doubt. Every awesome day. Every horrible one. The love I have to give. The heart that I wear on my sleeve. My family. My friends.

Every part of who I am is completely and totally enough.

That is the Truth. There are no ifs, ands or buts about that.

I am enough because I am human. I am enough because I was created out of love. I am enough because I am worth more than this earthly world. I am enough because... I am me.

There is so much beauty and peace that comes with that, ya know? It makes me feel a bit empowered... I want to scream, "screw you, people! I AM AWESOME! And, what are you gonna do about it?!"

So, to all of you ladies (and men?) who may be having some similar doubts (with guys, a job, a big decision, etc)...

YOU are enough.

Breathe that in. Own it. Believe it.

Blessings and hugs,
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4 comments :

  1. Jen -- thanks for sharing your heart so openly like this. It probably goes without saying, but -- it makes me feel less alone. :) And you're so right about us being enough. I turned 30 last summer, and I really struggled because no one threw a birthday party for me. I know, I know, that's so immature, but it was how I felt. I think I struggled because your birthday is the one day people are supposed to celebrate you for just being. It's not tied to any sort of accomplishment, like graduation or a promotion. It's just a day when people celebrate you and love you just because you were born and you are you. I think that may be even more important to us single gals -- or maybe it's just me. At any rate, great post, thank you!

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  2. Oh my goodness, why do guys do that? Seriously. My friends are getting married and I've never been on a date.

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  3. You ARE enough, even if people don't think you're "enough" for them. It is so hurtful to experience rejection. I'm sorry it's something you've had to go through. Nothing we say can necessarily change the situation, but just know we're cheering you on, and we believe in you!

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  4. Aw Jen it sucks so bad when that happens but thank you so much for always sharing your heart and for speaking truth over and over again.

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