No blogging and losing my footing.

I don't know what to say.

I have written and erased... again and again.

I want to write here. I miss this space. The white background is intimidating.

This is an interesting crossroads... should I just stop the blogging altogether? No one has noticed my absence (other than my mom!! :) Love you.)... which is humbling. And makes me question.

Who am I writing for? Me? Other people?
Just to get some sort of recognition?
What is the purpose of my blog?
Is there a point anymore?

The blogging world is big. HUGE. So many other people talking about things that I have or will... in ways that are funnier, more eloquent or just better.

Is there still a place for me?

I'm just not sure anymore. I am taking this to prayer...

Along with where I am right now in my life.

I didn't realize it until a recent conversation with my therapist, but I have somehow lost my footing. I am not feeling grounded right now. I am a bit unsettled.

There is so much going on - some wonderful, some annoying; some little, some big - that I kind of, almost, just a teenytinybit, feel a loss of control.

Has that happened to you? You... whoever you are that still reads this... or stumbles upon this.

I still feel so happy to be here, please don't misunderstand. I absolutely, 100% feel like I have made the right decision to move, start back at the hospital, experience seasons (although I am a WIMP with the cold now) and have life be here... which is a wonderful, amazing feeling. Answered prayers for the win.

With that though... life can be overwhelming. Life.can.be.overwhelming.

Obviously. That may seem like a no-brainer. But, I have been putting those thoughts aside for a while. So, now I am letting them surface.

Family - Not having my own space - still working on myself - healing - finding community - maintaining some sort of prayer life - gaining a healthy work/life balance - missing my friends - maintaining connections - "dating" (trying, anyway!) - happenings in the world - LIFE.

Perhaps this blogging hiatus is related to my state in life currently? I can't really write, when I don't even know what I am feeling. Ya know?!

So... that's me. Life is great... just a little overwhelming right now. I hope to strengthen my footing soon! And maybe even write again.

Prayers and hugs,
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4 comments :

  1. I HAVE NOTICED your absence, friend!! And I've been hoping you were doing okay with all the life changes, moving, etc. <3

    I miss your blogging and I"m here as a friend, too.

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  2. I noticed! Sometimes blogging breaks just happen, don't they? We need to ground ourselves and go through life without broadcasting it sometimes. It's been almost 2 months since my last post, which was totally unintentional. So I get it. I want to write, but I feel at a loss for what to say. Because sometimes we don't share everything. Sometimes we don't blog because it's not stuff that needs to be shared. But when you do want to share, we'll be right back here to read along! I don't follow blogs with "perfect" posts, because they seem fake. So thanks for not being like that! It's all about authenticity to me, which I think you're great at. Praying for peace through all your life changes and adjustments.

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  3. This blogless lurker noticed!! Keep writing; I am grateful for your voice in the big blogging world.

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  4. I have noticed your lack of blogging. I miss your "voice." It's ironic you wrote this post because you've been on my heart and in my prayers. Transition and change are tough. Blah. Peace, my dear!

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