I don't know what to say.
I have written and erased... again and again.
I want to write here. I miss this space. The white background is intimidating.
This is an interesting crossroads... should I just stop the blogging altogether? No one has noticed my absence (other than my mom!! :) Love you.)... which is humbling. And makes me question.
Who am I writing for? Me? Other people?
Just to get some sort of recognition?
What is the purpose of my blog?
Is there a point anymore?
The blogging world is big. HUGE. So many other people talking about things that I have or will... in ways that are funnier, more eloquent or just better.
Is there still a place for me?
I'm just not sure anymore. I am taking this to prayer...
Along with where I am right now in my life.
I didn't realize it until a recent conversation with my therapist, but I have somehow lost my footing. I am not feeling grounded right now. I am a bit unsettled.
There is so much going on - some wonderful, some annoying; some little, some big - that I kind of, almost, just a teenytinybit, feel a loss of control.
Has that happened to you? You... whoever you are that still reads this... or stumbles upon this.
I still feel so happy to be here, please don't misunderstand. I absolutely, 100% feel like I have made the right decision to move, start back at the hospital, experience seasons (although I am a WIMP with the cold now) and have life be here... which is a wonderful, amazing feeling. Answered prayers for the win.
With that though... life can be overwhelming. Life.can.be.overwhelming.
Obviously. That may seem like a no-brainer. But, I have been putting those thoughts aside for a while. So, now I am letting them surface.
Family - Not having my own space - still working on myself - healing - finding community - maintaining some sort of prayer life - gaining a healthy work/life balance - missing my friends - maintaining connections - "dating" (trying, anyway!) - happenings in the world - LIFE.
Perhaps this blogging hiatus is related to my state in life currently? I can't really write, when I don't even know what I am feeling. Ya know?!
So... that's me. Life is great... just a little overwhelming right now. I hope to strengthen my footing soon! And maybe even write again.
Prayers and hugs,