I'm doing it. Again.


Ok. I signed up for CatholicMatch again.

*eyeroll emoji*

Oy.

They sucked me in with their good deal for a year subscription. A YEAR. So, I guess I am committing to that again.

I know it sounds like I am doing this begrudgingly. And that I am not very excited.

It's just that. CM and I? We have a love/hate relationship. Most of my experience with it hasn't been all that great. And I have loooooooooots of years of trying it out. Lots. Is there a point that it gets embarrassing to admit?

Anyway.

Recently, I experienced the joy and beauty of getting to know someone, having them get to know me, being attracted (I mean really attracted) to someone, laughing, letting my guard down, and truly desiring the best for this person... it lit something inside me that I hadn't really experienced for a very long time (if ever). I learned a lot from this little moment in time. And I think I will be forever grateful for it.

The desire to experience that and have it be part of my life was lit.

Then the holidays happened. And I had a bit of a rough patch. And... I'm trying to climb back up.

Enter CM.
Again.

As I hit the submit button to pay for my subscription, I prayed that it would be a good experience this time. I asked the Lord that it would be ENcouraging instead of DIScouraging. That I will be open to whatever can happen.

I pray for my husband every night. Perhaps I have scrolled through his profile already. Or maybe he will sign up soon? Or maybe I will just meet him the good ol' fashioned way- at church, at a Catholic event, or the infinite options for IRL meetings.

This is just another step to make it possible for me to date. To get to know someone. To meet my husband.

As an aside. Not everyone has to try online dating. It's one of my BIGGEST pet peeves when people suggest online dating (when you are still single after all these years) is THE thing that will help with your singleness. That's just crazy. I know many people who have met their beloveds online. But, I also know many people like me who have been in the online dating world for so much of their adult life annnnnnd still single.

God has a plan. So long as we single people are fully and completely open to that plan, things will unfold as they are meant to. Including when and how we meet our spouse. Keep praying. Keep hoping. And keep doing what you need to do to put yourself out there.

Pray for me, ok?
Pray that CM and I can have an ok relationship this time around.
And that the Lord's will be done.

For fun... here are my previous online dating posts and tips. Because- GET IT TOGETHER DUDES! Write back. Ask to meet in person. Let's get this going.

Online Dating Tips I
Online Dating Tips II
Other musings

What are your thoughts about online dating?! Tried it and loved it? Tried it and hated it? Want to try it?


 photo signature_zps5d138df6.png

15 comments :

  1. Leaving some comment love and encouragement here.
    I'm a frustrated online dater and have never had a LTR come out of online dating--I think it's because I don't look good "on paper" (so to speak). I look way younger than my age, so if I say my true age probably I would get screened out by a lot of age filters. (And I don't mind dating a man slightly younger than I am--my aunt is 5 years older than her husband; my grandmother was 7 years older than my grandfather. Long-lasting marriages for both.) Also I'm devout and intelligent and those seem to be intimidating qualities rather than attractors.
    I had a very bad run the latter half of 2016 and also had a sad Christmastime. . . but a nice friend of mine (married and has kids with a wonderful woman he met on CM actually!) is planning to set me up with someone he knows. Trying not to get my hopes up but he says we seem to be cut from the same cloth. I just need him to see that I'm ready for this introduction and not still sad over the bad stuff that happened. So I will pray for your dating life if you'll pray for mine! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah! I am praying, Katie! Sometimes the setting up from friends can be great (and also awkward!)... but I love when my married friends are thinking of me and who they can set me up with. I always feel like it's them praying and looking out for me b/c they know this is such a desire on my heart! The Lord has wonderful plans for our lives, right?! :) Know of my prayers!

      Delete
  2. I have met so. many. couples who met online. Couples who have strong, happy marriages. Sorry that it seems like there are either more frogs than princes for now. Hang in there!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! Yep, me too... I know a ton. But, it's not how the Lord wills it for everyone, ya know?!

      Delete
  3. I think it can work. There's a little bit of a stigma to it, I think, because so many of us want to meet in a chick flick setting. I've got to be honest though... my husband and I met through Twitter (we had a mutual friend so it wasn't completely random). I've heard a lot of success stories from dating sites and a lot of awkward stories, both from secular and Catholic dating sites. I understand the struggle and the longing of singlehood and I just want to say... I feel you sister! I'll be praying for you and hoping it'll work out how it's supposed to this time around. Good luck!! :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes.. I know many, many people who have met online! Successful, beautiful marriages. The online dating thing can be exhausting and draining, though! So, it's hard to continue to keep going. ha. But, thank you for your prayers! I appreciate it!!

      Delete
  4. Go Jen! Good for you for trying it again. I (kind of on a whim, gotta say) signed up last summer to kind of see what CM was like. My thought was that I would see just how it worked a bit and set up a profile so maybe after I moved after graduation I would do more. Obviously I had no idea how it works!

    I was completely shocked at the number of guys viewing my profile and messaging me. Some of them were definitely weirdos. One thing that really weirded me out was that most of them were at least 5-7 years older than me. But I had some nice conversations too. After a little bit, though, it was just too overwhelming to me. There were too many people and I hadn't known ahead of time how people will see your new profile more. I let my 6 months expire and haven't renewed. I've been quickly deleting those email offers because it just didn't feel like the right thing at the time. But who knows! I've heard of so many wonderful successful relationships from online dating. And I think it's great you're leaving that door open just in case :-)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Haha, yes... it's a bit overwhelming sometimes. But, then just gets to be exhausting! But, it will all be worth it in the end when I finally meet my beloved, ya know?

      Delete
  5. I did one month of online dating (eHarmony, waaaaaaay back in 2006). I HATED it. But I also met my husband (at the tail end of a torturous month). So... Hang in there! Prayers for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! Yep, I have heard that many times, too. Ha, but I have been on and off CM (and other sites) for years. Years and years. Over time, it gets to be a bit exhausting and draining. But! I am open to this avenue of possibly meeting my husband, so I don't want to completely write it off just yet. Thank you for the prayers!

      Delete
  6. Praying for you, sister in Christ! I tried Catholic Match 2 times, went on a couple of dates with different guys, and was happy to grow from those experiences. It was not easy to put myself out there on a website, but looking back now, I can say it helped me to become a stronger more confident person. I met my husband one month after cancelling my subscrption to CM. We met through a language website, never expecting our exchange would go beyond learning the others language and never expecting I would meet him on a different website. I truly believe God values our effort to meet Mr. Right, He wants us to do our part. I think hope is an essential virtue to have during the wait. I know God will grant you all the desires of your heart in due time. Sending a big hug!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amazing!! What a great story!!
      It just shows that you never know how you will meet your beloved. Being open to what the Lord wants is key for sure. Thank you for the prayers and hug!!

      Delete
  7. I got sucked into the same deal and also signed back up. Praying for you and journeying with you also.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you and prayers for you toooooo!!!! :)

      Delete
  8. Hi! I just came across this and YES. I feel like I've been on CM forever (sometimes paid, sometimes not), and it seems like every time it's about to expire and I'm just so DONE, I start talking to someone who seems like he might have potential so I re-up for whatever special they try to pull you in with when your subscription is going to expire and then like a week later things come to a halt with whoever the guy was. Lather rinse repeat. I am so tired of it. And SOOOOO tired of (well-meaning) people asking, "Have you tried online dating?" (As if that wouldn't have occurred to us singles by this point, right?) And when I say yes, they then assume I'm just not on the right one because there's a mindset that single person + online dating = marriage, every time. It's frustrating, especially when online dating makes me feel even worse about myself than real interactions, and also because it reinforces my belief that I'm doing something wrong because if EVERYONE can find their spouse online then what's wrong with me? I know that's not really true but it sure feels true. Anyway. Sorry for the novel and I hope in the couple of weeks since you posted this you've had some good experiences! :)

    ReplyDelete

Hey! You just read that. Don't you wanna leave me some love?!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...