Not really a life update, update

Well, hello there.

I did go to Seaside in August. Per usual. And it was glorious.

Not sure what one writes after months and months of... nothing. I know I say this each time I have a very long break, but I do miss this space. I do miss writing. It's just.. I don't know. It's hard to just sit and write. My distraction level is through the roof when I stare at the screen. And I just can't get myself to pour out anything.

The thoughts are there. Oh, so many thoughts rolling around in my ol' noggin. But, often times they are thoughts between me and the Lord, me and friends and me and family. You know?

Anyway. This past week. Man. So many things. So much that I actually would like to hash out in writing, hopefully on this here blog. 

This past week some more layers have shed, or beginning to shed, exposing who I am. Me. In all of my imperfect, God-given glory. 

The more that I am exposed, the more I realize there is no shame in who I am. Just like all of us, we have stories to share. Stories that are at times wonderful and fun and harmonious, but usually intertwined with lots of messes, pain and frustrations that leave us a bit tattered, scarred and, yes, a bit shamed.

We have so many choices in this life. We can choose to continue to be defined by all the negative and bad. We can choose to ignore the wounds. We can choose to stay down. We can choose to reject help. 

But, by doing that we are choosing to not be who we are meant to be.

We aren't promised a pain free life. Nope. Through our pain, within our suffering there is hope. The hope of something more. Something bigger. Something to grab onto that can keep us going. 

We can choose to hope. And with that hope, we are exposed to who we are. To confront our battles with an extra oomph. To rejoice in the good and beautiful moments! We can love ourselves better. Love those around us better. We can share our stories without shame. We can support one another. We can lift each other up.

What do you think??

So much more I'd like to touch on, for sure. 

In light of sharing our stories... I did a thing a few months ago where I shared more about the affects of my parents' divorce for the Catholic Herald... you can read that here. This has all been an ongoing healing process, and I am still amazed that I can share it!!

For those of you who follow me on social media, you will have seen that I was hospitalized for rhabdomyolysis for the beginning part of last week. Not only do I want to share more about rhabdo (which I will b/c it isn't that well understood/known), I have some things I would like to share about the week regarding asking for help, family, community, etc. Sooooo maaaaany thooooughts! :)

With that, it's time to get ready for Mass!! So looking forward to actually going to Mass today! Don't take it for granted, people.

I'll be back! (I hope!)
Blessings and hugs,
Jen
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