Negative Self Talk

I had made a mistake a couple weeks ago. A mistake at work. It caused some confusion. I had to work quickly to rectify things and get the information back out. And really, it all worked out. No major damage was done. At all! PTL.

But, you guys. I made a mistake. I couldn't believe it! Ya know, a mistake that I didn't catch before. People had to see. I was embarrassed. I was annoyed at myself. I was just really bummed about it.

And then I was feeling a little down. For a couple of days.

All the thoughts started running through my head. See, you can't actually do this job. You aren't that good at it. Why do people trust you to do this? Just proves that you aren't good at much of anything. Then everything starts flooding into my head. You are so stupid. You can't do your job. You are still single! No one will love you. You're impatient. And rude. And on and on and on.

Oh, but, this time. Before I really spiraled, like I usually do. I stopped. I pulled out my journal.

And I wrote.
I acknowledged my frustrations.
My sin.
And reminded myself that those things don't define me.
I wrote down a little bit of how God sees me, and that is who I want to be.
I chose to be around people the following days.

And it was a beautiful Grace. I didn't spiral. I mean, it was seriously amazing! And that grace, I am SURE of it, sailed me right into a beautiful and blessed Holy Week.

Negative self-talk. I am a PRO. It's not something I am proud of, but it is definitely something I am always, always dealing with. And only just recently (even with the years of therapy!), have I begun to figure out how I handle it best.

It's a choice I have to make, almost, every day. I have to choose to ignore those thoughts. I have to remind myself that when I become that person, it is NOT who God has created me to be. It is most definitely not my authentic self. Especially when I have the days when I am down about being single. Sometimes it seems too easy to see why I am single. But, those reasons? They are not from God. They are just a deep seated hold that the freakin' devil has, that I am working SO HARD to get rid of.

For me? Writing down and rewriting and rewriting (and rewriting) the things that I like about myself, the things that I am good at, the ways that God sees me has finally proven to be fruitful. Choosing to ignore those thoughts. Surrounding myself with people. Because when you are thinking way less of yourself, why would you want to be around people? No, I have to choose to be with people. Most especially people that build me up, inspire me and encourage me to be the best that I can be.

It's a work in progress, but for now? I am SO enjoying where I am. To finally be breaking free of this chain that has tied me up for FAR too long.

Do you struggle with this? No you aren't alone. And let me remind you... you are so so SO loved! Even when you feel down. Even when you sin. Even when you don't love yourself. You are absolutely, 100% loved... :) Praying for you!



So, SURPRISE! I am hosting Not Alone Series this week!!! WHAT?! Thanks for having me back this week! And for Lindsay and Rachel for reaching out!

Being single can leave us feeling unworthy and unloveable sometimes, but we know that it's not true! How do you avoid negative self-talk? How do you lift yourself up instead of allowing yourself to be down? How can we continue to acknowledge our low-points, but encourage each other to something more?

Please, please join us!!!


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9 comments :

  1. So proud of you for jumping out of that potential spiral! That is a constant battle, and seeing you make it through one day's battle is encouraging. Go Jen!

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  2. Ugh, I'm a pro at that too. I've been reading "I Believe in Love" and it impresses me so much with how it important it is to just let go and let Jesus do His work, but not always so easy to put into practice when it's such a bad habit. :/

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  3. Thanks so much for this. I thought I was the only one who could go from "I can't believe I said that" to "No one will ever love me" in less than 5 seconds! I am learning that it really is a bad habit I have to work hard to break. Will be praying for you!

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  4. I recently had a similar experience @ work. It's crazy how negative self talk about one area of your life can then leak into the other areas. Thanks for sharing, Jen! I liked the strategies you employed to stop the negativity!

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  5. I recently had a similar experience @ work. It's crazy how negative self talk about one area of your life can then leak into the other areas. Thanks for sharing, Jen! I liked the strategies you employed to stop the negativity!

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  6. I love working things out by writing them down! Sometimes, when it's not just me working on myself, I have to stop myself from using writing as a crutch. But in prayer time, writing is my jam. I get a little sad when prayer spaces are too dim for writing (i.e. basically every Holy Thursday altar of repose, unfortunately).

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  7. It tends to help me work through tough times when I journal and when I can just write things out to sort through the emotions. A couple years ago I read the book "40 Days to a Joy-Filled Life." It's like a little workbook that helps turn negative thinking into positive thinking. I'm a realist so this book helped me to turn my thoughts into something productive.

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  8. I can relate to this post so much. I am a pro at negative self talk and I would love to break the habit but it is so hard sometimes! Once I start, it is hard to stop. I may have to try writing things down next time it happens.

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